But I want to teach preschool.

So, yesterday I was sitting in math class and Professor Medina was explaining a math problem that was at the second grade level. It was not a hard problem per say, but I wasn't that into it. I was sitting there listening and a little voice popped into my head. Very clear it said, "I don't want to teach." Wait, what? 

Being in Liberal Studies, you teach. That's what you do. You graduate, you go through the credential program, you student teach and get get your teaching credential. And then guess what? You go into teaching... ding ding ding! We have a winner!

But here I am sitting in math class a fourth year, graduating in the spring and on track to get my credential and here is this little voice saying, "I don't want to teach." Again, I say, what?? 

The summer I was at Mount Hermon in the childcare building we had a newborn room, a toddler room, a preschool room, and a kinder level. All summer I went through changing diapers, bouncing babies, distracting toddlers, reading stories, dancing, singing songs, and entertaining and teaching young children. And I have never had as much fun in my life as I did that summer. 
I LOVED it. I loved those ages. I love imagination play. I loved circle time. I loved story time. I loved taking care of babies. 

I am suppose to work with children. I know that. I know that God gave me the passion and heart to work with young kids. But He did not necessarily give me the heart and joy to get a California teaching credential. The thing is, I am 22 years old and I have my whole world in front of me and sometimes plans change. Yes, I have always thought that I would teach kindergarten. But you know what? I don't think I want to. 

I have the upmost respect for all of the people in my major and all of the teachers and professors in my life. And I always thought I would join them. This is the time in my life where I know I need to explore, learn, participate in, imagine, and take the plunge. I do not want to give my teaching credential because I have to. I want to get my credential if I want to teach elementary school kids. 

But I want to teach preschool. 

People may say, well it's a little late to be figuring that out! Maybe, but maybe not. I often use this blog to figure out what is on my mind and heart, and to express myself. I don't know what the future holds. But I don't want to spend more time in school getting a credential that I am not 100 percent sure I will use. If I have the ability to choose, then I choose the babies. 

I know it seems like I am sitting here and trying to prove to myself and the world that it is OKAY to not get my credential. And maybe that's what I am doing. But sometimes its hard to change the plan when it's been the plan for so long. 

Here is one thing I do know. I don't think that voice came out no where. I have been thinking about this a lot this summer and that voice just might have been my answer. God was that little voice. And He's up there right now looking down at me, and you know what he is saying? "It's okay, I have the plan, no need to worry."

Preschool is a whole different ballgame. And very different than teaching. But you know? I'm a different kind of baseball player :) 

Whitttt

"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me."

"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me."

I couldn't tell you how many times my mom has reminded me of this truth. Or how many times Alissa tells me on a daily basis. But it's so true and something I need to constantly be reminded of. 

In church today, this verse was mentioned again and I was struck by so much truth that was said. 

"I have value because God made me in His image." 

Who we are and where our identity lies is NOT based on how well we do something. This last thought that the pastor said today took it in full circle for me today. 

"There are a lot of things that I am not good at, but I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." 

This is an idea that God really really really wants me to understand, from hearing it through my mother, Alissa, and now at church. It's not about my abilities. Trust me, I am reminded time and again about everything that I am NOT good at. But that is not the point. The point is we can do ALL THINGS through Jesus. And we are made in HIS image. That's where are value lies. That's what is most important. 

Senior Year

Everything points to it. Senior year. I can't believe it. I feel like it was just yesterday that I was moving into Trinity and now I am 22 and in my fourth year at Cal Poly. What an amazing adventure life at Cal Poly as been. It's amazing to me to see how much I have grown and experienced life here in San Luis Obispo. I think back to the Trin, Poly Canyon, Muir, Stafford, and now life on Foothill. All arrangements consisted of different people and experiences. I have friendships that have grown from all the places I have lived.

I think about Liberal Studies and the people that I known to love through my classes and I feel so blessed by those people. Department people like Dr. Berber, Loni, and professors make classes that much better. Bio hikes, anatomy dissections, math groups, story telling, leap frog in the gym, and art in the classroom. All words that describe the unique classes that we have taken. You name a class and we probably will tell you who was in that class with us and some funny story that happened. We are such an unique major and so close as a whole. I know that God put me in Liberal Studies for a reason. He knew I would need those girls! And Ryan Mitchell of course :)

School has brought on good experiences and bad, challenges and achievements, smiles and tears, but most of all a whole lot of love. Love from friends and family, but most of all, love from Jesus. Even if life has felt like it has fallen apart, He's right there saying, "I'm holding your hand, sweet girl." Even if you failed a math class. Even if you had emergency surgery. Even if you lost your job. Because you know why? You retook that math class and got a C! You went through surgery but it went better than our wildest dreams. And guess what? You have had FIVE babysitting job opportunities since losing that job.

Yes, Junior year was a crazy year, but Senior year is going to be good, I can feel it :) I am so excited for school to start, friends to see, and babies to take care of! I know Jesus is by my side and at the end of the day, that's all that matters!

- Whittttt