New Year Resolutions?

Now, I can barely remember to water the dead plants on the porch, let alone remember a new years resolution. But normally, I don't usually do new years resolutions. I mean not really, should I?

I often times take the time to reflect on the year as a whole though and think about what important things happened in my life. Last year I remember doing that and thinking about being at Mount Hermon, my job as an RA, and also going into emergency surgery. That was all quite a year. Now thinking back on this year, it was a lot calmer, but I think that was a good thing.

Thinking back to January, I was starting a new year and I was ovarian cyst free as well as RA free too. At the time I was so sad that I had to leave Muir. It was hard leaving all my "kids" that I had grown to love so much. And yet, looking back on it now, I see things that I had not seen before. Ask any of my close friends and they'll tell you, fall quarter took a lot out of me last year and I struggled balancing work and school. (Forget about my social life, that was non existent). Come January, I was ready for a break and I needed to focus on "Whitney." So winter quarter was about me and about school. I focused on doing well in school and I focused on my health. And as the quarter went on I started to see the hidden blessing in no longer being an RA.

The rest of Junior year was so great because I did well in school, I was healthy, and I actually got to spend time with friends. Everything happens for a reason and I truly believe God gives us all specific experiences that help us to learn and grow. The great thing about my opportunity in being an RA was that I still saw my residents on campus a lot and also went to visit them in Muir. I still had relationships with them minus all the work and being on call!

This summer I visited one of my favorite places on earth, Whitefish, Montana. Not only did I get to spend quality time with my grandparents, but I also was able to nanny for the most awesome family in the world on Flathead Lake! What an amazing week of fun we had! And what a blessing it was for me to meet such a loving family.

Fall quarter this year was a little nuts with keeping up with all my classes, but I'll tell ya, there was so much JOY through it all. I've been thinking about graduation more and more lately and about leaving SLO and my beautiful friends. With that in mind I have tried to make the most out of all my experiences and spending time with the people I love.

There is beauty in so much of this world and especially in the day to day things. I think about the "future" talks that Katie and I often have and how scary life seems at times but at the same time how beautiful it is when you think about the endless opportunities that the world offers. I think about laughter and how I thought I was legitimately going to die during finals week but how at the same time you just get to this point where you just have to laugh. Because life is FUNNY. People are FUNNY. And when your ring goes flying across the room in the library and you're on your hands and knees looking for it , you know that 11 hours at the library straight is just a little too long. That's FUNNY. (Well I think it was!)

And I'll tell ya when you are waiting and waiting and waiting to find out what you got on your LAST math grade of your life and it finally pops up on your portal and it's really not even that great, but it's passing, the neighbors probably thought that we had won the lottery or something. THIS GIRL WAS SO JOYFUL.

Because we need that. We need laughter and joy and happiness in our life. There is too much sadness, negativity, and despair that life can bring that we forget to CELEBRATE. And I mean it, really CELEBRATE! My way of celebrating at school sometimes is with starbucks. If I don't do well on something my mom will tell me to get starbucks. And when I do well on something, my mom tells me to go get starbucks. It's my way of celebrating in all circumstances ;)

Looking back from last New Years to this one, I am so thankful to be HEALTHY, since that was not the case last year. And I am so thankful for my family and to have a house that is truly is a HOME. I am thankful for the blessings I call my friends and how much I have grown in the past year.

At this time next year I wonder where I will be typing this blog and even though I do not know the answer to that yet, I know God does and I know it will be wonderful. Because life is wonderful.

Remember to giggle folks, it makes the hard times easier and the good times funnier. :)

xoxo,
Whiteroo

22 Terrific things about being 22 OR just about being ALIVE!

I read a blog post tonight titled "22 Great things about being 22"  and realized I have been 22 for almost eight months and have yet to make my own list. Therefore, since I turn 23 in four months (I can't even think about it or I freak out) I better write my own before that happens. And mind you, there are probably some things on my list that do not portray to most 22 year olds...

1. No one can deny you the right in playing TSwiffle.  

God bless my roommates. In April, when I turned 22, my roommates probably listened to that song a couple hundred times that day. There was one moment where Sami came downstairs and the song was blasting and Danelle was reading a book. She was laughing and gave Danelle this look like "how can you actually stand this?" Danelle looked up, shrugged, and went back to reading. Of course I was singing and paying no attention to Sami. Roommates come in all sorts of blessings and especially when you turn 22 ;)

2.  Toole and sparkles has become an essential item in your closet. 

AKA it's fun to make tutu's. (I warned you I'm not a normal 22 year old).

3. It's okay to spend two hours in target when you need a study break. 

You probably don't have a husband yet and no kids, so take the time now. Browse around, try on the Christmas sweater, buy the 14/16 child's large tights because they fit (opps did I just say that?), and spend time finding the perfect Thanksgiving card to send Grandma. Because Grandma's around now, the tights are cheap, and the sweater's warm. Maybe you don't have all the time in the world because of midterms, but make the time to browse.

4. Coffee dates 

They're important. You're graduating soon. Say what you need to say NOW. Talk. Hug. Buy the coffee on your treat. Tell them you love them.

5.  You can babysit for your boss or friend or coworker or classmate.

They are probably exhausted and could use a little break. Don't wait for them to ask, offer. And take three hours of baby therapy. And if you really can't do babies. Than dog sit or house sit. Water someone's plants. Whatever. Just offer :)

6. Eat chocolate 

This goes for any age. 

7. Giggles 

Another thing that can be done for all ages, but it can be related to 22 year old experiences. Like school. Sometimes when nothing makes sense and you're really sleep deprived, a friend can make you giggle to where you just need to let it out. And anytime you can let it out by giggling instead of crying or freaking or having a melt down, is a GREAT thing. 

8. You actually do have more time for exercise (probably)

Do it. It makes you feel good. 

9. Have FUN 

You're a senior now (most likely) so you know how to have a good time and you also know your limits. Be smart. Make wise choices. But also enjoy the fact that it's your last year and make the most out of the FUN that you can have. This relates to all kinds of fun. Meaning wearing flowers on your head all day for a Juliet monologue or taking care of a giggling baby or dressing up for a night out on town. Just have fun. 

10.  You can actually go to the doctor 

I mean technically we're all suppose to be on our parents' health insurance until we're 26 now. Take advantage of that. If you think something actually might be wrong, check it out, don't ignore it. I mean seriously, we actually do only live once. 

11. Pack your bags 

Whether it be a road trip to see Grandma, disneyworld to see Mickey, or Spain to teach English. Get out. Go places. See the world. That could mean on a break from school or after graduation, but do it. Somehow it will work out. Make it happen. 

12. Drink that applemartini 

When you're pregnant, there will be none of that. 

13. Look at yourself in the mirror and tell yourself you're beautiful (or handsome)

This is another one of those any age ones. But seriously. We don't do it enough. Wake up in the morning, go to that mirror, look at those curly hairs flying everywhere and say, "Whit (you) your curly q's are beautiful and you are going to have a GREAT day!" I'll tell ya, when we truly love ourselves and hold our heads high, everything changes. 

14. Remember to sleep (I should be right now). 

Later in life (cough cough when you have triplets) (it could happen) you are not going to be sleeping as much. Do it now. You deserve it. It will make you feel healthier too. 

15. BUY scantrons. 

I'm serious. You're going to look back on college and maybe your boss got mad, or the baby kept you up all night, or the neighbors were being rude, and it might be one of those crying moments and you're going to think to back to college and say out loud "I just wish I could buy a scantron right now." Okay, maybe it won't happen exactly like that, but you get my point. (Hopefully). 

16. SMILE at new classmates. 

17. TALK to new classmates. 

18. Eat the kettle corn. 

19. Buy fruit and vegies at the farmers market. 

20. And actually eat it. 

21. Don't ever be afraid to cry. 

22. LOVE others ALWAYS. 

Show people you care. Prove to them how much you love them. 

Even if you couldn't get through all of that and you just scrolled down to the end. If anything just take the last two. Those are probably the most dear to my own heart. Never be ashamed for your emotions whether happy or sad. And just remember we're all human and all deserve love. 

Whitney Roses 

That's a wrap, folks!

And like that Fall quarter is over! I can't believe I only have two more quarters left at Cal Poly. Where has the time gone? I feel like it was yesterday my RA's were reminding me not to run up the stairs in Trinity and now I am a senior and still run up my stairs! It's hard to believe that there are only two quarters left.

The past three weeks were insane and I am so glad to finally done with my last final, math at that! It's funny, even if I don't get fabulous grades, I am just so thankful to be done. Sometimes you're just over it, 19 units later and I sure was!

Lately, more and more I have been thinking about graduation and leaving SLO. It's such a weird concept for me. I can't imagine not going to school here anymore. I always thought I would get my credential here which would give me more time. But that's not happening anymore! The more that time passes, the more that I have been thinking about the students at Cal Poly that I have come to know. It may be my best friend or that kid I only had a few classes with. But they sure are on my mind.

I sure am going to miss these people. 

I don't understand how you go to school with people for such a long time and then all of sudden, it's just over. Maybe I'm slightly dramatic, but it's scary. I love these people. I don't want to leave them. You could say the same thing happened in high school. Maybe back then it was dramatic for me graduating high school, but it's no comparison to this. Being in college, you start to realize who you are and what you believe in. You learn a lot in four years being away at school. 

And I think about all the little things. The little things that make the most difference. I do not think I giggled as much in the past week as I did yesterday when I saw Katie after not seeing her for a week! How stressed I was last week and the last thing I was doing was giggling, and yet as soon as I was with her again yesterday I laughed and laughed and laughed. 

But that's the thing, when will I laugh again with Katie after graduation? I don't know! And I know I am making this sound really depressing, but in a way, I am writing it to make myself THINK. Thinking about this concept helps me to realize how truly BLESSED I am for all of the relationships I have made at school. 

I think about how many people I constantly say hi to while I am on campus and how I can pinpoint how I know them and you know that makes me happy. I am so thankful to have known so many great people and to know how much I have learned from a lot of these people. 

And so when I think about graduation in the spring, I am reminding myself to stop while on campus and give that person a hug, take the time to write a love letter to someone who needs it, and to tell people I love them as much as I can. Because you know, people liked to know that they are loved and I love telling people I love them. 

Yes, in reality, it will be a very interesting change when we graduate, are out of school, and not running into people everyday, but in every transition God brings JOY, He brings LOVE, He brings BEAUTY, and He brings FRIENDSHIP. And so, it will be okay. It will always be okay. 

And there will always be love. Because there may be distance, but there is always love. It might come in a letter, it might come in a visit, it might come in a snap chat, or it might come in a boutique of flowers, but there will always be love. 

So, you, beautiful person reading this, if I haven't told you I love you in a while, know that I do. Really. 

Whitney Rose 

Let's talk Math. 

Oh Math, where to begin? Let's start off with those multiplication table sheets we had to do in 2nd grade. When you were timed and you had to fill in all the facts. Those stressed me out so much. And my biggest obstacle in math is still how much time we get during a test. Anything else happen in 2nd grade? Oh yeah, I was called to sort some math flash cards one time and had A LOT of trouble. Of course my teacher decided to send up the smartest kid in class to "help me" but that didn't really work out too well...

Middle school? Algebra wasn't my friend... I TRIED so much. Sometimes TRYING doesn't always cut it though.. 

High school? Let's see, algebra, geometry, algebra 2, Pre calc... 

I think I actually did well in algebra and geometry. Then algebra 2 came around... My first C in high school. I thought the world was ending... now I pray for C's in my classes. HA. 

There's a special story that goes with Pre Calc though :) 

Senior year I had Babcock for Pre Calc. Let's be real, it was hard. But I was in his classroom EVERYDAY after school before cross country practice, practicing practicing practicing. Dominique use to help me A LOT. And I would understand it, or so I thought. I can't remember how many tests we had throughout the semester, but we had quite a few tests and quizzes. Each time I would aim for that A. And each time I would be close, but not quite there! Flash forward to second semester, last test of the year (final? maybe) and I still had not gotten an A yet. Babcock had finished all of our pre cal stuff and wanted to do some CALCULUS stuff the last couple of weeks. So, this test was on CALCULUS math. It was my last chance. I knew I had to do it.

One day after school, I came to Babcock's room and he was correcting tests... my test. the suspense was killing me. Do you know what I got on that CALCULUS test? 

A 92 percent! 

Oh my gosh, I was SO happy. I took the hardest test of the year in that class and got my BEST score. I got my A! I was ecstatic. And do you know what I got in that class. A STRONG B. And I was so proud of it :)

Because you see guys, this is why my perseverance is so important to me. This is why. I had a teacher who cared, a heart to succeed, and a positive attitude that I try to keep with  me always.

Two years later, Cal Poly MATH. 

Elementary Math for Elementary School Teachers. 

Sounds simple, right? 

Not quite. 

Teaching students HOW to teach math to elementary school kids is not an easy task. The type of thinking in this series is VERY different than most classes at Cal Poly. Not only are we challenged in teaching and learning differently, but also still be challenged on quizzes and tests that are college level. It's been a struggle.

Math 227 - C- 

Math 328 - D- 

Math 328- D+

Math 329 - F

Math 329 - C

Math 330 - TBD 

Okay, your first thought, why Whit? Why put your math grades online for all to see? 

Because it's OKAY. 

It's okay. 

Why is it okay? Because college is hard. It doesn't come easy to a lot of us. And for some reason I tend to be vulnerable on this blog. And yes, I repeated two of these classes, I still didn't get FABULOUS grades. But it's okay. My math professors often say that the way Math or science is perceived by teachers is the way students will perceive these subjects. Very true. I have often questioned myself in that if I didn't tell myself so much when I was younger that I was bad in math that maybe I would be better at it now. But you know, I don't know.

We all have different gift areas. And are all good at different subjects. Even though most of the time I feel like I am bad in all of them, but that's not the point. No one said when I was born, "Whitney needs to be so GREAT in math." No one said that. Maybe they said that when Mandi was born, but again, not the point.

Where are you going with this Whit (Paige says in the background, as I talk out loud). My mom always says, "Think with the end in mind." Meaning, what are you going to do in this great big world? I'll tell ya one thing, I'm not going to teach math. But really. Look up at my grades again. Are you looking? Look at them hard. What do they mean? What do they represent. I'll tell ya.

They represent COUNTLESS hours of office hours with Elsa, Todd, Carole, and Violet. 

They represent HOURS of studying at the library and writing out math problems on the big white boards. 

They represent study groups and class time. 

They represent giggles and tears. 

And they represent perseverance. 

I'm writing this post because I am in my LAST math class at Poly and maybe in LIFE, and I'm nervous about passing. I am. But I got to say, even though those grades don't look like I learned much. I'll tell ya I learned SO MUCH.

This series usually takes someone a year and one quarter to complete. Right now I am at two years and one quarter. One year longer than usual. Has that been a pain? Oh yeah. Has it been frustrating? You bet. But am I proud of myself? More than you could imagine.

It's funny, when Paige and I talk about it, we laugh, because it is kind of funny. But I WILL be SO proud when I finish.

Perseverance. It's one of my favorite words. 

Because I don't know why this series has taken me so long to finish and I don't know why school is such a challenge. But it's what I know, so might as well make the most out of it and giggle while I can. 

And by the way, I got an 85 percent on my psych 405 midterm. :)

WhitNuggets <3 

Because being thankful is MOST important.

I am sitting on my bed with lots of blankets and Christmas pandora music is playing and it's Friday night, my four day weekend is in front of me and life is beautiful. The Christmas lights are twinkling behind me and life is calm in this moment. You know, life is hard, but there is beauty in it all.

It's funny because this quarter has just been tough in general and life can be really frustrating. It seems like as soon as one challenge is conquered, another one is front of me again. It's like a never ending line.

But at the same time there is a lot of Joy. 

Joy in the babies I babysit. Joy in the friends that I have. Joy in a cozy bedroom with cozy blankets. And at the end of the day even when it feels like everything is falling a part, that joy is more important. 

Tonight, I told myself I needed to write about all of the things that I am thankful for. And first and foremost, even if I complain about this sometimes, I am thankful for my PERSEVERANCE. Because without it, I wouldn't be able to conquer anything. 

Specifically though, I have been thinking about my classes and friends at school and I sure am thankful for all the love in my life. 

It's the little moments and everyday activities at school that bring me the most joy. Like my useless sense of direction and Katie taking me home. And when she reminds me that chickens and babies and fun is so much more important than test scores. When I find old quotes of Kelsey's great encouragement and reminding me that math is only one of so many classes we take over a lifetime. Sitting in the uu with Alissa and being so content just knowing she's always there when I need her. Screaming at 7am and seeing Evan for the first time of the quarter. Life talks with Ryan. Knowing that "my whole world" is in math 300. Ryan's persistence that he's "my whole world." 

Because there's so much to be thankful for.   

Pretending to "eat" the babies on Thursday mornings at Grace. Putting babies in a front carrier and "doing the dishes" pretending I'm a mom. Dreaming about my future children. Giggling with Katie about how the whole world is married, engaged, or pregnant. All my sweaters and sweatshirts smelling like "baby." Checking the mail after school. Running at the gym. Conquering push ups and sit ups. Telling myself to run one more mile. 

Because life is beautiful that way. 

Going to Denny's at 11pm with Amanda. (She'll kill me for revealing this). Having long talks with Amanda about everything. Thinking back to all of our lunch, dinner, breakfast, snack, drink, and everything in between dates we have had over the past three years. All of our life talks. How much I adore and love her. How much she truly understands. How she gets me and knows me so well. 

Late night talks with Paige. Snuggling in each others' beds. Giggling. And more giggling. And more giggling. Sharing sweatshirts. When I am looking for something to wear and I raid her closet. Or my favorite, when I see her at school and I am wearing her clothes. When she packs weekend away bags for both of us and knows exactly what I need. When she brings me coffee in bed. When she kisses the top of my head before she leaves and calls me "pookie." (Sorry McKenna) And when I come home after a bad day and crawl into my bed and she puts every blanket and quilt over me and tucks me in just right. And knows at that moment that's all I need. 

Because God places the people in out life we need the most during times we need them the most. 

When Kelsey and I plan hair stroking dates. (Lauren you're missing out!) When I have classes with strictly lib studs. When we all know each other in class and someone says something funny and five minutes later I'm still laughing. When Alyssa use to have to tell me to sit down in Education 310. When Natalie was so scared of dissections in anatomy. Evan and Natalie sandwiches on plant bio field trips. When Evan saved me from falling off a mountain. When Paige and I got "arts integration" on our homework! (beginning of a beautiful friendship). The fireplace in the common room in Poly Canyon. When Missy use to braid my hair as we walked to class. Cold hiking mornings. Rainy days. Buns on top of my head. Walks with Emily. Night walks with Paige. 

And Thrifty's birthday cake ice cream. 

Because I adore people. And I LOVE my life. And I LOVE the people in my life. That's what's important. 

Chickens and babies and fun. Chickens and babies and fun. 

Whittie 

I can just be me.

Today, my mood reflects the weather. The rain is coming down and the tears are rolling down my cheeks. And I just want to crawl under Paige's quilts and fall asleep. But life needs to go on and things need to get done. 

Yesterday I was talking to a woman and we were just chatting about school. I remember saying to her, "I wish I could just learn and absorb all the information in my classes, but skip all the tests." She laughed and said that then I wouldn't know if I actually learned it.... 

I didn't tell her this, of course, but I don't think that's always the case. I could tell you so much of what I have learned in my bible lit class, theatre, math, econ, and psychology, and that's without having a test in front of me. 

I got a D on my psychology 405 test. 

I studied really hard. 

You know though, that test doesn't reflect the knowledge that I have or of how much I have learned in psychology 405. It's actually my favorite class. I really enjoy it. And for the most part, understand it. Many people would say, "No you don't, you just got a D on the test." 

We get into this mindset that we all have to go to school, we all have to be tested, and we all have to perform well, and if not, we're screwed for life. But says who? The government? Professors? Teachers? Parents? 

Says who? 

So therefore, you ask me now, if tests don't really matter, than why are you crying? 

Because school is hard. Because no matter how much I study, I still get a D or a C, or an F. I'm upset because even if I feel like I have learned A LOT in my classes, I still do not perform that way on the test. I am upset because that is the way the school system is set up. I am upset because there is so much emphasis put on tests. And tests make up your grades. 

Now you might think, well Whit, that's life. That's how our system is set up. 

And you are right. I know you are right. 

Emily heard this song in the car this morning and told me to listen to it. It's called, "I can Just be Me." 

"I've been doing all that I can

To hold it all together

Piece by piece

I've been feeling like a failure

Trying to be braver 

Than I could ever be

It's just not me."

I listen to those words and I can't help but feel like school is just not me. And I know that sounds so silly, because so many people are in school. It sounds silly, but really, so many people feel the same way. And to an extent I think that is okay. School is a challenging place for a lot of people and they try and try and try but the results do not always come out the way they hoped. If not anything else, they learn perseverance.

But I am so proud of myself. When I am babysitting or taking care of the precious babies at Grace church, I have this sense of peace. I know I am in my element there. I am confident. I am strong. I am happy and have so much joy. 

So, I can't be sad about psych for long, oh yes it's frustrating and oh yes, it makes me want to stop trying hard. But as my mama always tells me, "If not anything else Whit, it is teaching you how to persevere." 

I am writing this because it's okay that I don't know exactly what I want to do with my life. It's okay that  I struggle in the classroom. It's okay that it's a challenge in my life.  Because at the end of the day my passion lies with young kids. And yes, all I really want to do is get married and have a dozen babies and live on a dusty, beautiful ranch in Montana (One can dream), but in the meantime, I'll keep persevering, because that's all I can do. 

It's what I know. And it may not totally be ME, but it's where I am right now. 

I am so loved and so adored by the highest King and He could really care less about that D. He wants me to keep finding joy in everything. So, I can crawl out of the quilts, make some yummy pasta, study econ with Tera, and know that really at the end of the day, everything will be okay. 

Whit  

But I want to teach preschool.

So, yesterday I was sitting in math class and Professor Medina was explaining a math problem that was at the second grade level. It was not a hard problem per say, but I wasn't that into it. I was sitting there listening and a little voice popped into my head. Very clear it said, "I don't want to teach." Wait, what? 

Being in Liberal Studies, you teach. That's what you do. You graduate, you go through the credential program, you student teach and get get your teaching credential. And then guess what? You go into teaching... ding ding ding! We have a winner!

But here I am sitting in math class a fourth year, graduating in the spring and on track to get my credential and here is this little voice saying, "I don't want to teach." Again, I say, what?? 

The summer I was at Mount Hermon in the childcare building we had a newborn room, a toddler room, a preschool room, and a kinder level. All summer I went through changing diapers, bouncing babies, distracting toddlers, reading stories, dancing, singing songs, and entertaining and teaching young children. And I have never had as much fun in my life as I did that summer. 
I LOVED it. I loved those ages. I love imagination play. I loved circle time. I loved story time. I loved taking care of babies. 

I am suppose to work with children. I know that. I know that God gave me the passion and heart to work with young kids. But He did not necessarily give me the heart and joy to get a California teaching credential. The thing is, I am 22 years old and I have my whole world in front of me and sometimes plans change. Yes, I have always thought that I would teach kindergarten. But you know what? I don't think I want to. 

I have the upmost respect for all of the people in my major and all of the teachers and professors in my life. And I always thought I would join them. This is the time in my life where I know I need to explore, learn, participate in, imagine, and take the plunge. I do not want to give my teaching credential because I have to. I want to get my credential if I want to teach elementary school kids. 

But I want to teach preschool. 

People may say, well it's a little late to be figuring that out! Maybe, but maybe not. I often use this blog to figure out what is on my mind and heart, and to express myself. I don't know what the future holds. But I don't want to spend more time in school getting a credential that I am not 100 percent sure I will use. If I have the ability to choose, then I choose the babies. 

I know it seems like I am sitting here and trying to prove to myself and the world that it is OKAY to not get my credential. And maybe that's what I am doing. But sometimes its hard to change the plan when it's been the plan for so long. 

Here is one thing I do know. I don't think that voice came out no where. I have been thinking about this a lot this summer and that voice just might have been my answer. God was that little voice. And He's up there right now looking down at me, and you know what he is saying? "It's okay, I have the plan, no need to worry."

Preschool is a whole different ballgame. And very different than teaching. But you know? I'm a different kind of baseball player :) 

Whitttt

"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me."

"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me."

I couldn't tell you how many times my mom has reminded me of this truth. Or how many times Alissa tells me on a daily basis. But it's so true and something I need to constantly be reminded of. 

In church today, this verse was mentioned again and I was struck by so much truth that was said. 

"I have value because God made me in His image." 

Who we are and where our identity lies is NOT based on how well we do something. This last thought that the pastor said today took it in full circle for me today. 

"There are a lot of things that I am not good at, but I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." 

This is an idea that God really really really wants me to understand, from hearing it through my mother, Alissa, and now at church. It's not about my abilities. Trust me, I am reminded time and again about everything that I am NOT good at. But that is not the point. The point is we can do ALL THINGS through Jesus. And we are made in HIS image. That's where are value lies. That's what is most important. 

Senior Year

Everything points to it. Senior year. I can't believe it. I feel like it was just yesterday that I was moving into Trinity and now I am 22 and in my fourth year at Cal Poly. What an amazing adventure life at Cal Poly as been. It's amazing to me to see how much I have grown and experienced life here in San Luis Obispo. I think back to the Trin, Poly Canyon, Muir, Stafford, and now life on Foothill. All arrangements consisted of different people and experiences. I have friendships that have grown from all the places I have lived.

I think about Liberal Studies and the people that I known to love through my classes and I feel so blessed by those people. Department people like Dr. Berber, Loni, and professors make classes that much better. Bio hikes, anatomy dissections, math groups, story telling, leap frog in the gym, and art in the classroom. All words that describe the unique classes that we have taken. You name a class and we probably will tell you who was in that class with us and some funny story that happened. We are such an unique major and so close as a whole. I know that God put me in Liberal Studies for a reason. He knew I would need those girls! And Ryan Mitchell of course :)

School has brought on good experiences and bad, challenges and achievements, smiles and tears, but most of all a whole lot of love. Love from friends and family, but most of all, love from Jesus. Even if life has felt like it has fallen apart, He's right there saying, "I'm holding your hand, sweet girl." Even if you failed a math class. Even if you had emergency surgery. Even if you lost your job. Because you know why? You retook that math class and got a C! You went through surgery but it went better than our wildest dreams. And guess what? You have had FIVE babysitting job opportunities since losing that job.

Yes, Junior year was a crazy year, but Senior year is going to be good, I can feel it :) I am so excited for school to start, friends to see, and babies to take care of! I know Jesus is by my side and at the end of the day, that's all that matters!

- Whittttt

Are you a serial killer?

"Do you have the experience?" It seems to be on all Moms' minds when you are interviewing for babysitting and nannying positions. As she glanced over my resume, questions such as, "Have you had experience with our girls' age group?" And "Do you babysit regularly?" came out of her mouth. As I sat on their couch answering each question carefully, I couldn't help but be slightly nervous.

Parent interviews are always slightly awkward. I mean basically they are deciding if you are a serial killer or not.

 But really. 

I love kids. I want to spend the rest of my life with them. But sometimes it's hard to relate that to parents. And half the time they are making sure JR. doesn't fall on his head, than listen intently to your answers. But you know, it's good life experience. The more of these you do, the more "somewhat" comfortable you get with it.

Partly through the experience of finding a job, I just say to myself, I want to be back in Montana with Livie and Chance, and that's true. But I have to remember that they had to meet me for the first time just like these parents and kiddos have to do too.

I sure have perseverance! I've learned that from school. Whether it be trying to get an A on a math test, applying to be an RA twice before getting the job, or responding to what seems like hundreds of mom's and dad's on care.com. I know that God makes us all different, but I think he made me persistent because he knew that I could do it. (With his help of course!)

In church today, Pastor Thom mentioned the verses, James 1:2-4,

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." 

This verse struck me today because all the perseverance that I had last year really did help me to grow. Last year was tough, but I made it through. This reminder is so great. And I need to remember that this is the case for jobs too. Whether I babysit for a family or work at Blue Sky preschool, or not do either of those things, my perseverance will not go unnoticed to God. 

Another verse that was mentioned in church today was Genesis 50:19 -20, it states, 

"But Joseph said to them, "Don't be afraid. Am I in the place of God? You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives." 

What I loved about this verse is that harm was suppose to happen. I know that sounds strange, but my cyst was suppose to harm me, losing my RA position harmed me, but you know what God had the bigger plan! And I am OKAY! We can't see the big picture that God see's. He see's everyone and knows how we all intertwine, so he really knows what is best for everyone. 

He's got it all in the bag. I know that. I need to be patient. But I sure am glad to know that he has the grand ol' plan and see's my perseverance. That sure is a great thing!  

If Rose wasn't my middle name, "worry" would be! But one thing I have promised myself this year is that I will not worry. Or worry as much. I know it's going to be a great year and I am excited for classes and friends' coming back. But I am going to make it a point to not worry. I think I have been doing a pretty good job of not worrying this summer. One thing I constantly tell Alissa when I text her is, this and this and this happened, but I am NOT GOING TO WORRY. It's definitely a growing experience for me, but I think I am doing okay.

At the end of the day, God's going to take care of me whether or not I have a job. And he loves me so much. So for now, I will keep praying, waiting for his guidance. And at the end of the day, as Paige says,

"Parents really know in the first 60 seconds of meeting you if you are safe to leave their children with you or not." 

xoxo,
Miss Whitney

Family is all you need!

Philosophy is done. Summer is officially here. Relief. 

Been thinking about my family a lot this summer. Sister is officially done with grad school and has her Masters. So proud. 

Mama, daddy, Manda, and Josh all get to see each other this weekend. Am I jealous? Yes. I miss them. All of them. If I could pick one word to describe my family, it would be Ragamuffin. Because we are, if you look at our pictures growing up, you can tell. But I love it that way. I love that Mom let us run around barefoot all day and let Josh take mud baths. She let us be kids. And therefore, we made the best memories. My favorite memories. 

When life gets crazy and friends move away, I know that I still will always have my family. They get me. Yes, they think I am so weird, but they still get me. We all get each other. We laugh at each other, think things are hilarious when really its not that funny, and we live life. We pray, we cry, we laugh, we yell, we chase each other, we get on each other's last nerve, but we love each other. 

During spring break mom said, "Can you two (Josh and me) go into my room and wrestle each other away from me?" Or her other favorite, "Be so quiet so I think I am home alone." 

We love comparing ourselves to the Middle. But really, we are so that family. 

Natural parks, camping, Montana, the heat, guide dogs, the beach, summer camp, home schooling, raking the fall leaves, selling persimmons in the front yard, playing outside when the sun is going down, being kids, being ragamuffins, hugging mom, and waiting for dad to come home. 

All words that describe my childhood. I love my family and I miss them a lot. 

I thank Jesus every day for blessing me with such amazing people. They're the best <3 

xoxo, 

Whitney Rose 

Miss Whitney

So, I am finished with my third day of nannying of this week and I feel so blessed to be spending my week at  Flathead lake taking care of some pretty cute kiddos! What has amazed me the most this week is that I went into this summer having NO job opportunities and now I have three or four! Let me explain, the family that I have been hanging out with this week has had a lot of relatives and friends who have been at the lake and a handful of them got my information and might use me to babysit. It started yesterday when a friend of the family knew some other families who need a sitter and got my information. Then today a family who lives in Columbia Falls asked me for my information too! From watching the Emerson kids this week, to their friends asking me for my information, to Grandma's friend telling me she might need me on Fridays, I am so overwhelmed with JOY.

I feel so completely blessed that all these different job opportunities are jumping out at me this week. Especially by the fact that I had no possibilities for a job at the beginning of the summer. God is so absolutely good to me. I feel so blessed by the Emerson's and their friends. I am so glad for this opportunity to help them out this week. I absolutely love children and love spending time with them, so for me to be able to do this with my summer is just so great. I know this is where God wanted me to be.

Today while on my way home driving Gilbert, I stopped to get gas. I felt like such a big girl, making money, driving my own car, and pumping gas. (Good thing Paige taught me how to pump gas last quarter!) It feels good to spend time driving and really getting use to the van while I am here before getting back to SLO.
I feel so happy that even though last year was hard, I was able to grow so much. I am so happy to have this stress free summer, working on nannying as well as my online philosophy class. Life is simple right now and that's the way I love it.

So, tonight as we get ready for another night of summer baseball, I can't help but smile at all the tan lines on my back (from two different bathing suits, my sports bra, and tank top). I am so glad this is where God has me this summer. From tan lines, to goats, to Gilbert, or Flathead lake, this summer is working out exactly the way it is suppose to be.

And as what my kids call me, I leave you with:
- Miss Whitney
tonight. :)

Baby goats and Gilbert the Green Van

Aren't you glad it's summer? So am I. As I sit here snuggled in my warm blanket, playing words with friends with grandma, watching mystery detective shows on tv, I can't help but think about the past week since I have been in Montana. 

Whenever I visit my grandparents, I am always reminded by how small the towns are and how BIG the sky is! As Grandma and I have been on different errands this week I have been taking in all my surroundings so I do not get lost when I start driving Gilbert, my dodge caravan (AKA my soccer mom car). When you get off of Conn Rd, the street my grandparents live on, you have to turn right for Whitefish and left for Kalispell. Grandma and I have been in the habit of pointing out all the landmarks of places we have been when we drive by. Like Montana coffee traders, the car repair shop, and the chiropractor. 

On the way home today we picked up Gilbert and I drove 60 on the highway for the FIRST time, I know I know, but give me a little break, I haven't had a car for the past three years at SLO and I didn't drive that much in high school! Also, it started raining too! After putting on my right blinker and probably confusing the cars around me, I found the wipers! Then when I got home I saved about five or six christian and country song stations. I had so much joy when I got home, which cracked me up because I couldn't figure out why I was so happy. Then I realized, I am 22 years old and I finally have my very OWN car. It just makes me happy! 

Grandma and Grandpa have 26 baby goats at the moment and two of them we have to be bottle feed because they came are twins or triplets and their mom doesn't have enough milk for all of them! So three times I day, Mama Whit gets to feed them fresh milk from a bottle! They love me! There is another really tiny one who is a triplet and she won't drink her Mama's milk or milk from the bottle, that's why she is so tiny. Grandma thinks she might die... that makes me super sad. I really adore these goats. I don't know why, but I think they are just another example of how big this world is and how precious God's creatures are. Not only did He make you and me, but he made those 26 baby goats and he loves them! 

I look around at the green hills and blue skies and thunderstorms here and I can't help but be reminded at how God is such a talented painter. I have been reminded how different Montana is from California and then I just realized how so many places in the world are different, but beautiful in their own way. It's such an overwhelming thought to me that God created everything so different. What an artist. I love it. 

In two weeks I get to meet a family that I am hopefully going to be nannying for, for a week. It is for a family who lives in Colorado, but who are visiting Montana. I kept reminding myself that leaving for Montana would be an adventure even if I did not have a job this summer. I knew that God had the plan no matter what. And now I find out that I have this job opportunity, God is just so good and he knows what I need! 

I feel so blessed. So happy that I have such wonderful friends, so happy that I can be in MT this summer, and so happy to rest from the roller coaster of a year I had. The adventure is wonderful, especially when you  know sometimes you just need to take a leap of faith, one day at a time. 

Mama Whit (This will make sense if you are a goat or one of my Muir girls)

Sunday Morning

It's Sunday morning and I am sitting on the couch, drinking my morning huckleberry coffee (thanks Grandma!), eating oatmeal, and praise music is coming out of the ihome flowing through the room. 

"Bless the Lord, oh my soul, ohhh my soul. Worship His Holy name. Sing like never before. Oh my soul, worship your Holy name." 

It's a peaceful morning and it reminds me of home. Two weeks of school left. Dead week and finals. I get to babysit a little boy named Nikita this week! I am so excited! 

What a year it has been and how fast time went by. As I think about being in Montana this summer, I feel so much joy in my heart. I am so excited to help Grandma and Grandpa out on the ranch! I love the country life! Right now they have 36 new baby goats that are being bottle fed! How exciting is that!! I keep thinking about all the hilarious instagram posts and snap chats that I'm going to send out this summer! I have so many memories from this ranch and those animals. Despite the two online summer school classes I have, I know that the summer is going to be so relaxing. I think I really need it after this year. 

"I want to know you, I want to hear your voice, I want to know you more. I want to touch you, I want to see your face, I want to know you more."

Summer is SO close. We just have to keep working hard a little bit longer. You know, I just love my classes so much. You know when that happens that you really picked the right major. I am so blessed my the girls (and Ryan) in my major and so blessed by the leadership. You know you are loved when you enter the Liberal Studies office and Dr. Berber says, "Whitney is here again!" and when you leave Loni says she loves you. That is pretty special. 

"Wipe the dirt off my face, hold me in your embrace, your love always saves the day." 

Yesterday while babysitting with Paige, I played "monster" and "giant" with some pretty cute and pretty crazy little boys. I was really tired and really frustrated with linguistics yesterday and to tell you the truth, I really didn't wanted to go. But children just have a way of reminding me that sometimes everything else doesn't matter. In that moment when I was chasing them around their backyard, they mattered. They were important. And linguistics wasn't. All it really took was Paige to say, "Go play with them Whit, you love it, just have fun." 

"My God is mighty to save, He is mighty to save. Forever, author of salvation, He rose and conquered the grave, Jesus conquered the grave." 

Life is life. School is school. I was texting Alissa the other day, feeling very frustrated with school and feeling like I wasn't (won't) get Dean's List. Alissa so reminded me that I am worth SO much more than school. And God loves me so very much for me just being me. I am so blessed by people in my life who can give me those reminders, especially Alissa. 


"You are more than the choices that you make, you are more than the summer of past mistakes, you are more than the problems you create. You've been remade." 

Paigie just texted me and said Mission: "To complete Whitney's quilt before Montana." Oh my goodness that would be SO great. I want to finish it so badly and I want to show it to Grandma! And I want to snuggle in it! That reminds me of something I said at camp last summer, 

"Snuggles? That's my husband's name!" - Cuddles 

The rest of the summer, my coworkers would say, "What's your husband's name, Cuddles?" And I would yell, "Snuggles!" 

You know we would make a great pair ;) 

"Shout to the north and the south, sing to the east and west, Jesus is Savior to all, Lord of Heaven and earth." 

It's now 11:07am and I am still in my pajamas with crazy, curly, wild, hair on top of my head. I need to take a shower, finish my kine homework, read my child development book, and then maybe start some moving out packing of my room! Blogging, coffee, and praise music, i need to start my mornings out like this more often! 

Now, it's time for another adventure! Look out Sunday, Whitney is ready! But more especially, look out dead week and finals! Cuddles is coming for ya! 

xoxoxo, 

Cudds (thinking about you Shell! :) 

As I was eating dinner tonight, the Disney Channel was on and I was watching some new show that I had never seen before. One of the main characters was having a problem because she joined the cheer team and they said she could not be friends or on the cheer team if she was friends with her best friend. The reason I bring this up is because we have been talking about peer relations in my child development class and I don't understand why Disney has to be stereotypical on girls in cheer. Yes, there are bullies in school and yes, girls are really not kind to others sometimes. But if we are trying to raise kids who are loving, welcoming, and kind to all, what are we telling them by having shows that use a "group" and label that group as unkind. Maybe I am looking WAY too much into this, but I don't know, I think people are people. Period. And we can't put them into boxes. You know? And as a teacher and a parent one day, I hope I can raise children to understand this concept to love people for being people. Not for being on cheer, or the basketball team, or on choir. Just for being who they are. 

-Whit 

Each day is an ADVENTURE...

Life is an adventure. I've come to realize that each day is an adventure of its own. This year has been quite an adventure to say the least. I can't believe that there are three short weeks left and junior year will be over. It seems like yesterday that I was moving into Aspen ready for a summer of taking care of babies! Now it's almost June again and in three months I will be starting my senior year at Cal Poly.  

This summer will be an adventure. What is God going to teach me? I have no idea! Will I have a job? I'm not sure! But is that okay? Absolutely! I have come to realize that God is saying, "Hold on tight Whit, get ready! Because here we go!" With big faith, I need to trust Him and know that this summer will be a crazy and amazing summer! I am so excited to spend time on the ranch, be in the open spaces of Montana, and to get out of California for a while! I know that it is going to be SO refreshing and STRESS FREE and a BREAK from how crazy this year was! I am so excited to spend time with Grandma and Grandpa. 

With life being such an adventure I have gotten in the habit of telling myself each morning, that the day will be an adventure of its own. That adventure might be getting a B on a math test, it might be going to Montana De Oro with Paige, it might be teaching third graders in Arroyo Grande, but whatever that adventure is, embrace it in all its glory. This year has also taught me how to embrace life as it comes. This means good and bad experiences. Life is life and we can't always control it, actually most of the time we can't. Therefore, might as well try and find JOY in everything! Sometimes we won't find joy, sometimes we find GROWTH. Sometimes we realize we need to grow from certain unpleasant experiences. No matter what experiences we have or how we react to them, I think it's important to understand that we always move forward, never back. With this mindset, life just gets easier. 

I want to do well. I want to make it on Dean's List. But you know, that doesn't me whether I make it or don't make it. I know I get caught up in wanting it so badly and maybe I need to work on that, but in a way I think it is okay to want that goal and to strive to get there. School doesn't come easy to me, I've known that for a long time, but I realized that part of the adventure in each day is realizing that school does not define me. And school is only one part of this adventure in life. So, I need to not be so hard on myself, because I know I have many gifts, and it really is okay if math or science isn't one of them. Truly, it's okay. But I am so proud of myself. I can't help but be proud of my B on that math test. We need to remember to celebrate the little things because they are what make up the BIG things. 

My new favorite word lately is CHAMP. I love telling myself that I am a CHAMP and YOU are a CHAMP. The other day in kine I was telling Paige and Alissa that when I was laying in bed I thought to myself, "I'm a champ." I didn't realize how funny that sounds til I said it out loud. I know I crack people up with the things that I say and I know that I am extremely weird, but sometimes I am just so happy that I have a small major where most people know who I am and are not even phased by the things that I say anymore. It saves a lot of time, not having to explain my weirdness. People hear me and then they say, "Oh it's just Whit." 

The last thing I want to mention tonight is I am so incredibly blessed by the people who are apart of my life and apart of my daily adventure. I have some pretty great friends who are always around when I need them. That is really special. When you have people in your life that regard you as IMPORTANT, that is just really great. And when you have people to talk to when life just keeps pushing you down, it's nice having them there to pull you up, even if it is time after time after time again. 

I know for a FACT that God has put people in my life to help take care of me. And I know He especially knew I would need it this year. Because people are beautiful and I love them a lot. Life is such a crazy and wonderful adventure that we all have to go through, and you know, giggling helps and love, lots of love. 

- Whittzzers 

Summer heat and country boys :)

You know when your single when you go through times of being fine and then other times when you just really wish you were going out with the man of your dreams? Yeah, I am feeling the latter tonight. I have been thinking a lot about Montana lately. There is a very high possibility that I will be in Montana this summer working and staying at my Grandparents ranch. I can't help but think, will i meet a country boy?

Part of me is like, no, that won't happen, because it never does! But then again...

What if I did? 

What if I had that summer. That hot and country summer. That summer romance. But didn't stop in the summer, but continued on. You never know what could happen. I am 21 years old, almost 22. Everyone says, "You're still so young!" I know that may be true. But to tell you the truth, I'm impatient. I'm tired of waiting. I know God says to be patient and I need to listen. But sometimes it's hard, especially when there are many relationships around me. 

I can't help but day dream about this summer and about all the "what ifs." Of course I do not want to get my hopes up, but at the same time a girl can dream, can't she? :)

I can imagine walking around Grandpa's ranch in my cowgirl boots and summer dresses without a care in the world. Every day I will put on my boots and head out into the country, how exciting is that? I'll have my soccer Mom green van and I will be ready to go! I will hopefully have the best job (ideally working with kids) or maybe I will volunteer with kids and work somewhere else. Where will I meet this country boy? At my job? Down at the baseball field where Grandpa coaches? At church?  

It is very reassuring to know that God has the grand ol' plan, but part of me hopes maybe He will give me this dream this summer. You never know.

One thing that is for sure is I will be a summer time country girl this summer and life will be dusty, dirty, silly, wonderful, hot, and absolutely wonderful all at the same time no matter what.

In the meantime, it's time to get back to studying for finals!

Whitters   

Sunburns! And giggling!

You know what is love? Kelsey bringing aloe vera to school today and applying it to my scorched back. She's so completely good to me! I'm such a goober sometimes, but she loves me! :)

Today was my last day of classes for winter quarter! I cannot believe where the time has gone. The quarter went by SO fast. Today when I was sitting in the uu with Alissa we were talking about last quarter and I said. "I got a lot more sleep this quarter!" I remember last quarter when I always was so tired from rounds, I would get to the uu and Alissa always made me take a nap! I would be so out. She always kept an eye on me. I think about how well school has gone this quarter and all the fun activities I have had. It's been a really great quarter. I have been reminded at least once a day this quarter how completely blessed I am by my friends. I know I say it a lot how much I love Lib Studs, Chi Omega, and Cru kids, but I can't get over how completely wonderful they are to me. I just have this complete JOY when I am surrounded by them and I know that joy comes right from Jesus. I know it's also because the little things make me happy. I love seeing myself and others grow. No matter how many times I worried last quarter about my responsibilities, or school, or professors, there was always still joy. Always. I still got my hug from Kelsey after math, I still got my giggles out in Muir with my kids, I still ran around in my tutu, I still had my dates with Alissa, I still stroked Lauren's hair, I still had life talks with Ryan, and I still loved people deeply. I love my conversations in the uu or over text with Alissa because I grow and learn from them. She helps me to understand things about life, she reminds me about things I don't think about, and she helps me to see the whole picture. You know with life, comes sufferings and this has been a tough school year, but I know I do not find my joy from circumstances. I find my joy in Jesus. I think so much of this year I just had to put on my favorite smile, giggle til my stomach hurt, and know that life goes on. There was tears. There will always be tears. But there were more giggles. Jesus loves both of them the same. And He loves me and He loves you. <3 

A snap shot of this quarter!

Tutu love with Jordan! 

 Coffee and the beach with my Tiana girl.

 Alissa's 21st! How I adore this girl so much! 

 I love my Kelsey hugs!

 Line Dancing with these pretty ladies!

 Dear Sister event with Katie Crilley! <3 

 My kids!! 

 Emily's Cinnamon rolls after we taught the 6th graders! 

 Chi O Casino! 

 Dancing with my Ruthie girl! 

 Dear Sister with my dear dear Amanda <3 

After our education final! Snap chatting with Lyss! 

Blessings

So, I made the mistake tonight to drink coffee about two hours ago and now I can’t sleep. Tonight, I am going to bed with so much joy, so I thought I would share.

Today, Alissa and were calculating grades and GPA, we first calculated my “lowest” possible grades for the quarter of what I would get. It came out to be a 3.2! That was exciting! But then we thought let’s turn up the heat a bit. So, we upped up a few grades (still probable grades) and it landed me at a 3.5… DEAN’S LIST. Say what? I have been trying to get there for the past 2 and a half years. We decided that is my goal for the quarter. I believe in myself and I belief I can do it!

You know, if I do accomplish this goal, I will be SO proud of myself. How special and earned I will feel if I make Dean’s List this quarter for the first time. I’d much rather have it this way than getting it every quarter. You know why? Because I will know that I truly earned it through really hard work. Not to say that people who earn it every quarter are not hard workers, they are, and they deserve it! But for me to have worked SO hard and to finally accomplish it, that will make me so happy.

I have come to realize a lot this quarter that the fact that school comes hard for me and it takes me longer to understand concepts has molded me into who I have become. I am glad it’s harder for me because it has given me the work ethic that I have today. All my experiences and challenges have taught me so much. Yes, it sucked to get a 1.9 last quarter, but there were things to learn from that. I learned so much being an RA last quarter and I learned so much in my classes despite getting bad grades.

How blessed I am to go to such an amazing school with some pretty amazing professors. Every quarter is a blessing no matter what happens. We’re always going to have struggles, but it is how we overcome them that show who we truly are. As Kelsey always tells me, I am a fighter. It’s true though, I won’t go down without a fight. And trust me, I have gone down quite a bit. I love the saying, fall down seven times and stand up eight. Jesus has taught me this concept VERY well. There have been days in the past where I have been on my knees sobbing my eyes and not understanding why I got that D on that test, or that D in that class, or even that F in that class last quarter. By the time I got to that F though, I had already been molded and strengthen by the Lord that I didn't have to fall apart quite as much.

I have seen as low as grades can get and you know what? Life goes on. You think things are going to fall apart and the world is going to end, but it doesn't. LIFE GOES ON.  I got an F, but I’m still human. I’m still a precious daughter of God. And you know? That’s quite a bit more important.

Whitney Rose 

Tonight Tiana shared a song with me. These lyrics struck me and I feel like they sink in with how my year has been going.

“Whatever you're doing inside of me It feels like chaos, somehow there's peace. It's hard to surrender to what I can't see but I'm giving in to something heavenly.”

Again, I have mixed emotions all the time because I do have so much JOY in life, but at the same time, through different experiences that have happened this year, it has most definitely felt like chaos inside of me. But somehow God still gives me joy. That is what I hold on to.  

I adore people.

Sometimes I just love to stop and think about the big picture of things and think about life, the people in my life, and why the world is such a beautiful place. There are some truly amazing people in my life and sometimes I wonder how I am so blessed.

 Like last night for Alissa’s birthday when we were out adventuring I kept holding onto Lindsey’s hand and it made me so happy. That may sound silly, but for me it was that reassurance that she wasn’t going anywhere, she was right there to hold my hand. Or last quarter every Tuesday and Thursday, Kelsey would give me a hug. I remember one day, the day was going just awful, I was sick and I got a bad grade in math. I came out, almost in tears and not saying anything just gave her a hug, she called me doll like always and told me everything would be okay and you know, it was okay.

Ever since freshmen year I have had people in my life that I know truly care about me. Some have gone in and out of my life, but the ones who care have stayed. I remember last year when Missy and I had morning class at 8am and I wanted her to braid my hair she would literally sometimes do it while we were walking. One day a girl saw her and said, “You are going to make a GREAT Mom someday.” That girl is right, she will J I think about last quarter when I would visit Ruth at Einstein’s once a week and I would do homework and she would make me pumpkin creation drinks, they were so good! Then she would sit next to me and I would tell her everything that is on my mind. I think back to winter break when she called me when I was in the hospital and Josh talked to her for me. She was SO concerned, but Josh was able to calm her down. You know you are truly loved when that happens.

Thinking back to freshmen year when I was in Trinity with Dani. Every day when she and Laura left for class and I was in the lobby, she would say hi to me. I didn’t know her that much but I knew I loved her. Things like that truly make a difference. It may be something very simple like saying “hi,” but I knew Dani cared, that’s why she made the effort to say hi to me. And I love her for that. I remember also freshmen year when the PSC classes were so hard for me, I would study so hard and not do well. I couldn’t tell you how many times Ashlee would step outside of the classroom with me, hug me, and tell me it was okay and she was so proud of me. And she let me cry. Sometimes we see tears as a huge weakness, but Ashlee saw my heart through them and she really took care of me for it.

Through the years, especially in college, people have been oh so patient with me. I think about Danellie and how we have been best friends since freshmen year and she literally saved me in some very awkward situations, but for some reason they were not awkward with her. She was there to help me and she always did. I will never forget the day we made muddy buddies in the microwave in Trin, that day we became the best of friends. Since then she has always been the one that I would call and cry to we were out of town from SLO.

I feel so blessed beyond belief to be in the major that I am a part of. Literally, some of the most amazing people that I have met from Poly are Lib Studs. We are truly a unique major that is a real family. We have a billion insides jokes that have developed through our classes. As Katie said the other day, “Aren’t you suppose to be in class with Lauren right now? I thought all Lib Studs have class together!” Pretty much our excuse for everything is, “It’s because we’re Lib Studs.”

This year I have met more and more Chi Omega girls as the year has gone on. And I swear they are some of the most wonderful girls at Poly. I love spending time with them and I love meeting all of them! It just makes me super happy! I have found myself spending quite a bit of time with them because lots of them are Liberal Studies majors.

Life is beautiful. I adore people and I love my friends. I love all of the memories and quotes that I have through the years being here. But I think being a third year I have realized more and more what is important in friendships and the qualities that my friends have. Like for Alissa’s 21^st birthday it was completely important to take care of each other and be smart. And that is exactly how I felt. We took care of Alissa and we took care of each other. And I held Lindsey’s hand. I think that is what made last night so good.

I am so blessed beyond belief. I adore the people in my life. I am so glad to have the opportunities to spend time with them during these college years. Life is beautiful. I love having joy. And the people I spend time with give me joy. And yesterday I said, “Maybe that’s why I was giggling.” And Kelsey told me yesterday, “You giggle all the time Whit!” And it’s true, I do. And that’s exactly the way I like it (: