Be Who you Are

I have come to realize that when you fully believe in yourself and give yourself the confidence to be anybody who you want to be, than the rest of the world falls away just a little. Today, when I was walking around campus in my tutu, I didn't care if people looked at me strangely. I was being ME in that tutu. Knowing that I have the courage to walk around campus like that made me realize how much I am who I am. I also realized there are very few people like me in the world. But that’s okay. I enjoy beating to my own beat. I love being weird and silly all the time. I love making people laugh. I love being innocent. Sometimes, I don’t quite understand myself or the things that I do, but I know I am suppose to do them. I am suppose to be this way. I am suppose to be unique and silly. That’s the way Jesus made me! (: 

The Weekend is Here!

Today was such a GREAT day! I am currently laying on my bed in a sports bra and shorts because I got really hot while walking home.

Tell me what you think about when I describe this image to you.
Someone is walking home from school with their backpack, lunch pale, bag of library books, and around their waist they are wearing a tutu. If you don't know me very well, your answer could be "an elementary student" but if you know me well, you know that, that was ME walking home.

This morning I taught a lesson in my education class about "how to make a tutu with Whitney Rose" I was really nervous, but it actually went GREAT!! (: Then after my lesson I decided that I just HAD to wear my tutu the rest of the day!

Then Alyssa, Makayla, and I pet doggies on dexter lawn (with half our class!) and then went to eat lunch! Quote of the day you may wonder? "Maybe this is why I don't have a boyfriend..." "Because you wear tutu's Whit?" "It's okay Makayla and I don't have boyfriends and we're not wearing tutus!" "Yeah, your boyfriend  is going to love your tutus!" "Yeah he's going to have to love them because they are a part of me!"

Then I found Chi Omega girls and Lib studs in the UU when we were surrounded by fancy pants people trying to get interviews! You can imagine me running around there in my tutu! Then Alissa and I got starbucks and it was very refreshing! I love my Tues/Thurs sitting with Alissa (:

After Alissa went to class I was going to go home, but then I remembered that I wanted to go to the library! So, I back tracked and found tons of books about world history in the children's section of course! I checked out a ton and then headed home! :)

Now I am home and I am going to do some cleaning and eating and history book reading AND the weekend is here! I love my friends, tutus, library books, and the sunshine (:

Whitney Rose

As I attempt to finish homework tonight, I am holding onto this song...

"Now it all seems upside down 

'Cause my whole life is caving in 

But I feel you now more than I did then
How can I come to the end of me 

And somehow still have all I need?

God, I want to know you more 

Maybe this is how it starts 

I find you when I fall apart 

I don't know how long this will last 

I'm praying for the pain to pass

But maybe this is the best thing 

that has ever happened to me."

Lately,  I have been been questioning God's motives for how my life is going right now. But I need to constantly remind myself and even be reminded from Alissa and Tera, that HE has the plan. He knows exactly what He is doing. That moment when I think I am "okay" and "over" not living in Muir anymore my emotions get the best of me. Like last night. I visited my babies today. It was wonderful. The fact that they love me like crazy is what I need to remember when I am upset. Because yes, I may not be living in the same building with them anymore, but they are still a part of my life and I need to remember that. I know they were put in my life for a purpose and I was put in theirs for a purpose. I need to remember that God is good all the time, all the time He is good. Also, I need to be happy about the little things, like having a 100 percent in health in the classroom or snuggling with Nicki today or being an "outspoken" crazy girl in my Literature class. 

You're going to be okay, Whitney Rose, I promise you will be sweet girl. <3 

Sunday Night

All my classes consist of a lot of reading this quarter and sometimes it's difficult for me to comprehend what I am reading. I have worked on homework Thursday, Friday, Saturday, and today and I am done with everything except some reading for my literature class. I am having a hard time comprehending the book though. Right now, I feel kinda sad, therefore I am writing to make myself feel better. (And I am procrastinating against reading right now)

My stomach hurts. I know it's because of my cramps (sorry boys who are reading this), but they hurt more than usual because of my endometriosis. But I accidentally left my medicine on the kitchen counter... in Riverside. I think it will come in the mail tomorrow. Hopefully.

I don't know where or who I am going to live with next year. You would think by junior year  I would have it figured out by now. We will see what happens, I know it is in God's hands and as I try to figure it out, He will make what's best happen, it's still kind of scary though.

I visited Muir again today. I'm probably more dramatic about this than anyone else would be, but I can't help it. I love those freshmen. They always put a smile on my face and I love how excited I get when I see them and they see me. I'm really glad I am keeping these relationships because I know they are straight from God.

I adore people. Period. I am the type of person that just gets excited about seeing the people I love. Whether that be my roomates, muir kids, Lib Studs, bible study, I love people. And as Tiana keeps pointing out when we are together, "You know everybody!" But I am def. a people person. I love showing people I care. I think that is one big reason why I wanted to become an RA.

I have a number of passions in my life, but you know there are a few I found through Cal Poly. I have a PASSION for Liberal Studies students. They are there for me more than most people and they understand me more than most. I have a PASSION for the TRINITY residents of 2010-2011. They made my freshmen year here unforgettable. I have a PASSION for the MUIR residents of 2012-2013. They have opened my eyes and helped me realize so much about the important things in life. I have a PASSION for Cal Poly and EVERY single relationship/friendship I have made here. When I see someone at Cru or the UU that I know and I make the weirdest screaming noise and run and give you a hug. That's pure love folks. That's who I am. And it means I sure adore you a lot!

Okay, that's all for now, I need to eat dinner and finish reading. But I wanted to open my heart tonight and let out some air. (Don't know if that makes any sense)

Whit dear (As Ryan Mitchell calls me and Ravi )

Friday Night

"I have a love/hate relationship with the batch." - Whit 

"I have a love/hate relationship with stairs..." - Meghan 

Tonight I had a white elephant gift exchange party with my old roomies. I can't remember the last time I actually had some fun on a Friday night. We started out by having dinner at Franks. It's cheap and good. Then we took the plunge and went downtown to get some ice cream sandwiches at the Batch. Let's stop there for a second, let me explain why I have a love/hate relationship with the Batch. You see, it's so good, cold icecream, warm, soft cookies.... I know your mouth is watering. But my issue is it melts ALL over my hands every time I eat it! 

"I have a love/hate relationship with the Batch." - Whit 

"Because it's messy?" - Amanda

"Yeah and I am a messy eater, which most people know about, but I would like to keep it a secret to the rest of the world." - Whit 

Well, that went out the window. 

It's quite a problem. But needless to say, I love the batch. After our icecream and cookies we stopped in to Ross (which just happened to be a shortcut back to the car).  We commented on how the whole set up of Ross has changed, smelled some good smelling soaps, and we were on our way. At home (Garfield Arms) the humble adobe (did I spell that right?) of Meghan, Kelly, and Ashley, with tea in hand, we started watching Pitch Perfect. (Which was amazing, I might add). Actually, let's backtrack, before the movie we opened our white elephant gifts which included some stunning glasses, a picture frame, magic mike, and a whole lotta other stuff. 

You know as I sit here typing this, next to Meghan, covered in her big comforter, I can't help but smile when Kelly ran into the wall and Meghan stated, "Be kind to the wall, whatever did it do to you?" Miss  Congeniality is playing in the background, Amanda is falling asleep on the couch, ("I'm awake") and it's just a good old Friday night. Sure, maybe we just ate food and watched movies, but sometimes you just need an "eat food and watching movies" kind of night. 

I miss coming home to Poly Canyon hearing Meghan's voice saying, "Hi sunshine!" I miss random dance parties and signing sensations that went on in our kitchen. I just miss these crazy girls. Being so busy last quarter, there was never time for this. I could barley keep my head on straight, let alone have a movie night with my girls. And like the batch I have a love/hate relationship with my new situation this quarter. It's hard not being in Muir, but I love seeing my friends again. 

My three goals of the quarter is to get good grades, have "me" time, and to have fun with my friends that I did not get to see that much last quarter. Oh, and I guess I should mention my goal for Health in the Classroom, to only have two starbucks per week. 

Spending time with these girls is just another reminder of how much love is around me. And thinking about both women from the cinnabon place and the bookstore who were so kind to me today, it's so nice being around people who are happy and enjoying life. Thinking about last quarter and some certain experiences I had in art in the classroom with a certain professor. I realized how not uplifting she was. Life is too short to be around people who are not going to uplift you. Sometimes you just need to watch some movies, snuggle under comforters, and laugh with your girls, because we are only in college for a short time and I would much rather remember the nice people who gave me my cinnabon for breakfast or hugging Meghan or laughing at our weird antics. I'd much rather remember those things than a grouchy professor who didn't know how to say "good morning" at 8am. And as Meghan always says, "Never let anyone dull your sparkle." So, that's my note for the night (I am about to get my nails painted) don't let anyone change who you are or take the sunshine out of you! 

 

Whitters  

Cru.. love...my kids..

Tonight at Cru when we were worshiping, my eyes scanned the room and I saw some of my girls (Muir girls) sitting together and I smiled. My mind flashed backed to my freshmen year, two years ago, but what feels like an eternity. Watching my girls reminds me so much of my freshmen year. Knowing that I had so many years of college ahead of me and feeling so loved in this new "place." Now as a junior I just wonder where the time has gone. It's crazy to me how long I have actually lived in SLO now. After Cru finished, all my girls came and hugged me and we talked and I was just reminded by Jesus how much they have affected my life, but also how much they are STILL in my life and I do not need to worry about losing them.

When I was scanning the room tonight, another picture came into my head, one of me talking to Michelle, "my mother" and telling her SUPER long stories in like 5 minutes! I remember how fast I would talk to tell her EVERYTHING I needed to update her with. Tonight we talked again the first time in what seems like an eternity as well. But it was SO good. 

Being a junior now, I realize how much time has passed since I have been in school and I can't help but wonder if I have done ALL that I can do to glorify Jesus and be a good steward for Him. During winter break Mom asked me, "Whit, would you rather have never been an RA at all or been one for at one quarter?" And you know the answer of course is for at least one quarter. Being an RA for the short time that I was enabled me to create relationships with freshmen I would never have known other wise. But you know what makes me so happy? That they still NEED me. I know this because they tell me or they show it by the hugs they give me when I visit in Muir. Or the fact that I am bringing Amber an i clicker tomorrow to use because I know she needs one! As silly as it sounds that an i clicker is that significant, but in this case it so is.

I know I am rambling on and not being very focused tonight, but the main reason for this blog is for me to share what my heart wants to say and all this just needed to be spit out tonight, you know?

I know it seems like I have talked about being an RA a lot. But I have come to realize that that was a HUGE stepping stone in this thing we call, life. And even though it was only one quarter and only about 3 and a half months of being in that dorm, but as Michelle told me tonight, those three months could have made a bigger difference in my life and my kids life than any other 12 months put together. I am sure I learned more in those three months than ever before.

My hope is that while I was in Muir my kids felt the love I tried to show them and they knew I truly cared. And my hope continues to be that I will find them and they will find me when we need each other. Because God put them in my life, so I know they are not going anywhere! And lastly, I hope when they are juniors and thinking back on their freshmen year (like I did tonight) I hope they think about Muir and the love they felt from others and I hope they knew that this is where they were suppose to be.

I'll sign out how I use to sign out my potty talks for my girls last quarter... 

Mama Whit 

First day of school!

So, today I woke up at 6:55am to my second alarm and realized it was underneath me, go figure.  The sound was very quiet so I am thankful I actually woke up! I got up and jumped into the shower. I can't belief how easy it was for me to get up. I guess it has something to do with not going to bed at 3am (RA problems).
I put on my new black leggings from Mama, my purple and gray dress, my new black boots, and gave my hair a good scrunch. I made coffee downstairs and watched the morning news which happened to be the morning weather forecast. At 7:45am I put a note to the landlord in his mailbox and met Jenna to walk to school. It was a chilly morning, but luckily we got to campus in about ten minutes.

My first class of the day was Health in the classroom and there were TONS of Lib Studs in there! And GUESS WHAT!? Natalie and Evan are home from Europe I got to see them and hug them!! The class seems great, not too hard. And get this, our final is making a healthy recipe and being judged on it! SCORE!

After health I met up with Amanda and we went to brunch! We got to catch up from break and told each other allll our stories! It was absolutely wonderful! I was with her til 1:30pm and then ran into Aubrey and Tricia! We talked for a while and then I had to walk to History.

History (World History) seems great! I loved the professor and his style of teaching already! The class seems a little challenging, but as long as I do the reading and study hard, I know it will be GREAT!

I didn't have class again until 8pm (I know, gross right?). It's in an hour now, actually. So, at 4pm I went to Muir to visit my kids! I ended up spending an hour and a half with my kids and we went to starbucks and talked a lot! Being in Muir I got many many hugs from my old residents. During the break, I somehow convinced myself that it would be different when I came back. I thought since I am not living in Muir anymore, all my relationships would change. Boy, was I wrong. I guess when you leave the ones who love, you realize how much you really loved them. I realized how much love those freshmen have for me. They are so so so good to me and I love them so much. I am so glad that I can still go and visit them and it's not awkward.
When I was with them in the UU today I realized something else, I sure know a lot of people at Poly. I saw SO many people that said hi and gave me a hug today. One of my freshman said, "Whitney, you know everybody!" The blessing in that means there are so many people to love and to love me in return. It makes me so completely happy. I am so blessed, And you know, God's taking care of me. Even when I feel like I am completely falling apart because I don't get good grades, or I lose my job, or I end up in the hospital, I KNOW that God is looking after me. So, even when finances stress me out or I feel like I can't handle anything else, God's whispering in my ear, "Keep going Whit."

I will. This is going to be a good quarter. I know it is. I am so loved. 

Whit 

New "Home"

As I sit on my Mama made bed (Two big cushion type things and my feather bed) and look across the room at my best friend, I am slowly finding my new "home." I look around at our pink rug, two purple rugs, and green rug on the floor, her rainbow comforter and my pink one, the purple, pink, and yellow flowers on the walls, and all the disney paraphernalia around this room. And just now I was just called across the room to watch Clifford on PBS. It may sound absolutely ridiculous that we wrapped in a quilt on the this rainy Sunday morning watching Clifford the Big Red Dog, but you know it's normal for us. I realized that every place I have lived, has taken time for it  to become a home. And the same will be for this home. 

So, if Danellie and I watch Clifford in the morning when we get ready for school we will. And if we have billions of stuff animals on our beds and have disney everywhere, than so be it. This is what makes "home" really home. Classes will start tomorrow and I will get a schedule and routine down and it is going to be a GREAT quarter. 

"Remember God would never take something away from you without the intention of replacing it with something much better." 

Whittie 

"Mom do we have ice cream?" - Whit
"No, go ask Chad and Jennifer.." - Mom
"Are you sure?" - Whit
"Yeah, they love you!" - Mom

"We'll get ice cream if you guys get off netflix." - Jen
"We're not on netflix!" - Whit

"Your Mom owes me 5 bucks for taking care of you crazies!" Jennifer
"Yeah, Mom says it's quieter in the house when I'm gone..." - Whit

"Hey Jen, are we having a game night? I go back to school Saturday!" - Whit
"Yeah, I guess we can have one tomorrow night!" - Jen

#Teamjosh

Sometimes you just need to go to the store with the neighbors and get ice cream in the dead of winter. And have a board game night before you go back to school ;)

New Year. New Quarter. New Apartment. New Classes. Fresh Start. 

So, I decided that since I am so long winded, especially on fb statuses, that I would start a blog so I can talk as long as I need to! With the winter break coming to a close and classes starting on Monday I have been thinking a lot about how the break went and what I am expecting for winter quarter.

As far as the break goes, I DID NOT expect to go into the hospital! But as I told my grandpa on the phone when I was in the hospital, "If you have to go, might as well go all in or go home!" HA

But seriously, I am so blessed that it went so smoothly and all the doctors, nurses, and workers were SO good to me. With the news that I have ENDOMETRIOSIS (that's a mouth full) it worries me a little, especially from the fact that I could get more cysts, but if I let myself worry, I'd go crazy. I just need to be more aware of my body now and "things" for lack of a better term, that could "grow" inside of me. When I think about the fact that a blood filled cyst the size of a softball was inside of my right ovary, it gives me chills. No one really wants to think about that. When the doctor asked me why I didn't feel it inside of me I responded with, "I have been doing push ups and sit ups.... I just thought I had hard abs!" Don't we all Whit? Don't we all? Even in a hospital bed I am cracking people up when I am not even trying to...

Losing my RA job was another stresser of the break. The love that I have for my residents was so GREAT that I can't imagine not living with them. The best that I can though, I have tried to keep a positive attitude with this, but you know, it's hard. The BEST thing that could have come out of this, has though. I do get to share a room with one of my very best friends which truly makes a world of difference. And you know, even though I want to still be in Muir so badly, it is probably a blessing for me to not be under so much stress this quarter. Life as an RA is hard and it's hard to balance your job and school. And of course not being able to balance these two things was why I lost my job. I think my school work is definitely not going to suffer as much now though.

My goal of the break was to NOT STRESS. HA, so much for that! Through all of this though, I have learned to TRUST GOD more than ever before. When you get admitted to the hospital, lose your job, and living arrangements all in the same day, you kind of have to. Or as my Mama reminded me the other day, "Pray Whit, it really does work." So, I will pray, I will journal, I will work hard, I will keep an eye on my body, I will laugh, I will have fun, I will smile, and I will hug my friends a lot. Because you know why? Life goes on. It's as simple as that.

Whittie 

December 14, 2012 - Day I was admitted. 

New Apartment 

Nursery Duty at New Day. Exactly where I love to be!