Let's talk Math. 

Oh Math, where to begin? Let's start off with those multiplication table sheets we had to do in 2nd grade. When you were timed and you had to fill in all the facts. Those stressed me out so much. And my biggest obstacle in math is still how much time we get during a test. Anything else happen in 2nd grade? Oh yeah, I was called to sort some math flash cards one time and had A LOT of trouble. Of course my teacher decided to send up the smartest kid in class to "help me" but that didn't really work out too well...

Middle school? Algebra wasn't my friend... I TRIED so much. Sometimes TRYING doesn't always cut it though.. 

High school? Let's see, algebra, geometry, algebra 2, Pre calc... 

I think I actually did well in algebra and geometry. Then algebra 2 came around... My first C in high school. I thought the world was ending... now I pray for C's in my classes. HA. 

There's a special story that goes with Pre Calc though :) 

Senior year I had Babcock for Pre Calc. Let's be real, it was hard. But I was in his classroom EVERYDAY after school before cross country practice, practicing practicing practicing. Dominique use to help me A LOT. And I would understand it, or so I thought. I can't remember how many tests we had throughout the semester, but we had quite a few tests and quizzes. Each time I would aim for that A. And each time I would be close, but not quite there! Flash forward to second semester, last test of the year (final? maybe) and I still had not gotten an A yet. Babcock had finished all of our pre cal stuff and wanted to do some CALCULUS stuff the last couple of weeks. So, this test was on CALCULUS math. It was my last chance. I knew I had to do it.

One day after school, I came to Babcock's room and he was correcting tests... my test. the suspense was killing me. Do you know what I got on that CALCULUS test? 

A 92 percent! 

Oh my gosh, I was SO happy. I took the hardest test of the year in that class and got my BEST score. I got my A! I was ecstatic. And do you know what I got in that class. A STRONG B. And I was so proud of it :)

Because you see guys, this is why my perseverance is so important to me. This is why. I had a teacher who cared, a heart to succeed, and a positive attitude that I try to keep with  me always.

Two years later, Cal Poly MATH. 

Elementary Math for Elementary School Teachers. 

Sounds simple, right? 

Not quite. 

Teaching students HOW to teach math to elementary school kids is not an easy task. The type of thinking in this series is VERY different than most classes at Cal Poly. Not only are we challenged in teaching and learning differently, but also still be challenged on quizzes and tests that are college level. It's been a struggle.

Math 227 - C- 

Math 328 - D- 

Math 328- D+

Math 329 - F

Math 329 - C

Math 330 - TBD 

Okay, your first thought, why Whit? Why put your math grades online for all to see? 

Because it's OKAY. 

It's okay. 

Why is it okay? Because college is hard. It doesn't come easy to a lot of us. And for some reason I tend to be vulnerable on this blog. And yes, I repeated two of these classes, I still didn't get FABULOUS grades. But it's okay. My math professors often say that the way Math or science is perceived by teachers is the way students will perceive these subjects. Very true. I have often questioned myself in that if I didn't tell myself so much when I was younger that I was bad in math that maybe I would be better at it now. But you know, I don't know.

We all have different gift areas. And are all good at different subjects. Even though most of the time I feel like I am bad in all of them, but that's not the point. No one said when I was born, "Whitney needs to be so GREAT in math." No one said that. Maybe they said that when Mandi was born, but again, not the point.

Where are you going with this Whit (Paige says in the background, as I talk out loud). My mom always says, "Think with the end in mind." Meaning, what are you going to do in this great big world? I'll tell ya one thing, I'm not going to teach math. But really. Look up at my grades again. Are you looking? Look at them hard. What do they mean? What do they represent. I'll tell ya.

They represent COUNTLESS hours of office hours with Elsa, Todd, Carole, and Violet. 

They represent HOURS of studying at the library and writing out math problems on the big white boards. 

They represent study groups and class time. 

They represent giggles and tears. 

And they represent perseverance. 

I'm writing this post because I am in my LAST math class at Poly and maybe in LIFE, and I'm nervous about passing. I am. But I got to say, even though those grades don't look like I learned much. I'll tell ya I learned SO MUCH.

This series usually takes someone a year and one quarter to complete. Right now I am at two years and one quarter. One year longer than usual. Has that been a pain? Oh yeah. Has it been frustrating? You bet. But am I proud of myself? More than you could imagine.

It's funny, when Paige and I talk about it, we laugh, because it is kind of funny. But I WILL be SO proud when I finish.

Perseverance. It's one of my favorite words. 

Because I don't know why this series has taken me so long to finish and I don't know why school is such a challenge. But it's what I know, so might as well make the most out of it and giggle while I can. 

And by the way, I got an 85 percent on my psych 405 midterm. :)

WhitNuggets <3 

Because being thankful is MOST important.

I am sitting on my bed with lots of blankets and Christmas pandora music is playing and it's Friday night, my four day weekend is in front of me and life is beautiful. The Christmas lights are twinkling behind me and life is calm in this moment. You know, life is hard, but there is beauty in it all.

It's funny because this quarter has just been tough in general and life can be really frustrating. It seems like as soon as one challenge is conquered, another one is front of me again. It's like a never ending line.

But at the same time there is a lot of Joy. 

Joy in the babies I babysit. Joy in the friends that I have. Joy in a cozy bedroom with cozy blankets. And at the end of the day even when it feels like everything is falling a part, that joy is more important. 

Tonight, I told myself I needed to write about all of the things that I am thankful for. And first and foremost, even if I complain about this sometimes, I am thankful for my PERSEVERANCE. Because without it, I wouldn't be able to conquer anything. 

Specifically though, I have been thinking about my classes and friends at school and I sure am thankful for all the love in my life. 

It's the little moments and everyday activities at school that bring me the most joy. Like my useless sense of direction and Katie taking me home. And when she reminds me that chickens and babies and fun is so much more important than test scores. When I find old quotes of Kelsey's great encouragement and reminding me that math is only one of so many classes we take over a lifetime. Sitting in the uu with Alissa and being so content just knowing she's always there when I need her. Screaming at 7am and seeing Evan for the first time of the quarter. Life talks with Ryan. Knowing that "my whole world" is in math 300. Ryan's persistence that he's "my whole world." 

Because there's so much to be thankful for.   

Pretending to "eat" the babies on Thursday mornings at Grace. Putting babies in a front carrier and "doing the dishes" pretending I'm a mom. Dreaming about my future children. Giggling with Katie about how the whole world is married, engaged, or pregnant. All my sweaters and sweatshirts smelling like "baby." Checking the mail after school. Running at the gym. Conquering push ups and sit ups. Telling myself to run one more mile. 

Because life is beautiful that way. 

Going to Denny's at 11pm with Amanda. (She'll kill me for revealing this). Having long talks with Amanda about everything. Thinking back to all of our lunch, dinner, breakfast, snack, drink, and everything in between dates we have had over the past three years. All of our life talks. How much I adore and love her. How much she truly understands. How she gets me and knows me so well. 

Late night talks with Paige. Snuggling in each others' beds. Giggling. And more giggling. And more giggling. Sharing sweatshirts. When I am looking for something to wear and I raid her closet. Or my favorite, when I see her at school and I am wearing her clothes. When she packs weekend away bags for both of us and knows exactly what I need. When she brings me coffee in bed. When she kisses the top of my head before she leaves and calls me "pookie." (Sorry McKenna) And when I come home after a bad day and crawl into my bed and she puts every blanket and quilt over me and tucks me in just right. And knows at that moment that's all I need. 

Because God places the people in out life we need the most during times we need them the most. 

When Kelsey and I plan hair stroking dates. (Lauren you're missing out!) When I have classes with strictly lib studs. When we all know each other in class and someone says something funny and five minutes later I'm still laughing. When Alyssa use to have to tell me to sit down in Education 310. When Natalie was so scared of dissections in anatomy. Evan and Natalie sandwiches on plant bio field trips. When Evan saved me from falling off a mountain. When Paige and I got "arts integration" on our homework! (beginning of a beautiful friendship). The fireplace in the common room in Poly Canyon. When Missy use to braid my hair as we walked to class. Cold hiking mornings. Rainy days. Buns on top of my head. Walks with Emily. Night walks with Paige. 

And Thrifty's birthday cake ice cream. 

Because I adore people. And I LOVE my life. And I LOVE the people in my life. That's what's important. 

Chickens and babies and fun. Chickens and babies and fun. 

Whittie