Well, I can't seem to fall asleep tonight, so writing it is. 

I've been home for a week now and I always forget how much I love it at home. I have started to realize lately what a blessing my home is. I am 22 years old (almost 23) and I have lived/come home to the same house that I was born in. 

Good ol' Mount Vernon St. :)

Our little three bedroom, two bath, home that was built in the 30's that's still standing and still serves its purpose pretty dang well. From the hard wood floors to my Great Grandma's oven to the fort in the backyard. 

I love this place. 

Over the years, there were times when it seemed way too small and we were stepping on top of each other and we almost moved twice. But I sure am glad we didn't. Sure, when everyone is home for the holidays, I usually end up on the couch, but you know, you make it work. In June, everyone will be home and lots of family will be in town; we will have about ten people sleeping in the house! The running joke is with only three beds in the house, we don't even know where everyone will sleep! I think Grandpa suggested a tent in the backyard (just wait, that's where I'll end up!) 

I can picture Easter egg hunts, Thanksgiving dinners, Christmas trees, birthday parties, Mother's day, and Superbowl games all happening at our house. What special memories I have growing up in this old, wonderful home.

When people walk to the bathroom in the middle of the night, the floor creeks. When Josh gets something in his closet and the door closes, he's locked in. When you try and open the closet in mom and dad's room, the door gets jammed. But it's home. For 22 years it's been home. 

I was laying in bed tonight thinking about how when we were younger and friends use to come over they use to say we have so many books. When I stopped to think about it tonight, it's true. We have a bookshelf full of books in the family room, in the living room, in mom and dad's room, in the girls room, in Josh's room, there's even books in dad's bathroom. And the garage and shed out back are full of more. I mean I guess that's what happens when you have teachers as parents and home school parents :) 

That's another blessing though, having so many books at my fingertips. I think about all the kids in the world who dream about having more books to read. I probably have taken it for granted so much. What a blessing it is to have good books to read. 

Our home may be small, Josh may get stuck in his closet sometimes, the washing machine keeps breaking, and all the picture frames are not always dusted perfectly, but it's warm, clean, cozy, has all the books in the world, and wonderful people who love me a lot. And to tell you the truth, I'll take that over everything else, any day :) 

Goodnight friends!

Whitney Rose 

Home for Spring Break and I have eleven beautiful days ahead of me to do ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING besides studying and homework! Everyone is posting about being done with senior year of college, I have one more quarter and that's it. I can't believe it.

Today while driving home I kept thinking to myself. "Whit, I think this is the first time in like ever where you're going home for spring break and not stressed about what your grades are going to be."

But really. 

And yet, I ask myself, why is so much emphasis put on grades? Sometimes I feel like everything revolves around grades. Like you need to get good grades to go to a good university and you need good grades to go to a good grad school and you need good grades to get your Phd. It goes on and on and on. My psych professor said she pays more for her twins preschool than for her son's college tuition. 

Sometimes I wonder, where do we draw the line? 

I mean I love getting good grades, just like anyone else. And my stress level is so much lower when I get good grades. This quarter I am not only surpassing my goal of getting Dean's List. Pretty sure I am going to end up with a 3.6. And I have NEVER done that well in college before. Yes, I am very proud of myself. 

But at the same time I think it is important to remember that there are even more important things in life than just getting good grades. Yes, of course we need to work hard because that's why we're in school, but there are also so many more things that we are meant to do and accomplish in college. 

Because for the past ten quarters I have thought to myself, "Maybe this quarter Whit, maybe you'll get Dean's list." And it has never happened. This is going to sound dramatic, but we'll go with it. I remember one time in Trinity freshmen year they were having a dean's list banquet in the study lounge. I LIVED in that lounge. I studied my butt off that first quarter of college. I wanted to be at that banquet SO BAD. I remember looking into the room at  all of the students and wishing so badly that I could be there. 

At that moment, I just wish someone would have taken my shoulders, looked at me in the eyes, and just said, "Your value does not come from that, Whit." Of course I knew that. But in that moment, I know I needed the reminder. 

I always work hard in school. School's important to me. And those ten quarters I worked HARD. Dean Bailey likes to tell students that when you work 25-35 hours a week on homework and studying you'll make his list. You know what I want to tell him, "Nope, that doesn't always work." Of course I wouldn't, but everyone is different and school is just not that simple.

 I've learned a lot in my past ten quarters and one thing that I have learned is that none of my value is found in school. So, whether I pass or fail. I am still Whitney Rose. God still loves me just the same. 

I have also learned that it's important to do things that make me happy and give me joy. There is a balance that one needs to find in school. Because going on hikes, going somewhere "beautiful," watching sunsets, giggling, babysitting, TOT NIGHT VIP, running three miles at the gym, laying in the sunshine, and falling asleep at the library are all equally important. As Katie always tells me, "there are more important things in life, like chickens and babies and fun." 

This has been one of the best years at school because I have learned to remember that. Also like Ruth told me sophomore year, "Will this matter in a year?" "Noooo." "And does Jesus still love you?" "Yessss."

And I'll tell you that D I got on that plant biology lab test doesn't matter. And it's been TWO years now ;) 

It's important to remember how beautiful the world is and sometimes we just think calculus is more beautiful because we're stressed about it (I mean that's great if that's your thing) but for the rest of us, it's okay. You don't have to think calculus is beautiful :) 

Go "somewhere beautiful" folks, it makes life that much better :) 

xoxo, 

Whitters 

With the craziness of my senior project and how all of that is finally over, I realized something today. "You're leaving for Spain soon, Whit!" I have been getting more emails from Mission Nannys (That's the way they spell it!) about specifics and prayer letters/cards. I have been emailing them back and forth and figuring out more logistics about things.

I have been continuing to save for Spain, but now instead of my future jar, my savings are safely in Chase. In the words of Paige, "So if a burglar ever breaks in, he can't steal the future jar!" I mean he could, but there's only a couple pennies in it currently.

As I think about the future and graduation, I can't believe that I am going to be headed out to Spain in a few short months. I was reading some Mission Nanny newsletters and in the February letter my name was listed that I'm going to Spain. It's so crazy to me. This is really happening. Whitney, in Spain? I can't believe it.

God is good. God is SO good. 

I think back to the end of summer and when my questioning of "should I really get my credential" started. Back then I was like, "well, what else am I going to do with my life?" And I went back and forth with a decision for a long time. Then in the middle of fall quarter, I did it. I just said, "You don't want your credential and you don't need to get it." 

But then now what? 

I trusted God. I had to. I had no other choice in the matter. People kept asking and I kept saying, "I don't know, but God sure does!" Half the time of course, I worried and I forgot about this truth. 

Then one day my Mom stumbled upon  Mission Nannys.

You could say the rest is history? You know, I had to put my faith in God in order to apply and know that He would do what ever he would want with it. Who would have thought. Spain. God wants me in Spain. 

I'm not one to "go off the path." Heck, I think I have skipped class ONCE this school year and it was to study for another class! But you know, sometimes God does the coolest of things when we say, "Okay God, I'm just going to let go." 

Am I terrified? Oh yes, but am I excited? Even more. 

Because the coolest thing? God's got my back. And He will never let me fall. As I finish up this quarter and prepare for ONE more before graduation, I can't help but smile when I think about the fact that I will have no math problems, papers, or presentations come September. No, I'll have giggles, hand holding, paint, and a whole lot of love with three little bundles of joy. It's going to be good. Real good. 

Whit :)

Rain Rain Rain

I am sitting at the dinning room table, the candles are lit, my tea is hot, lists have been made, and the rain is coming down outside. When I was in elementary school and it rained, it was a BIG deal because it doesn't rain much in Riverside. I remember when it rained Mom would let us stay in our pajamas all day with the fire place on and do our schoolwork in the family room so we could watch the rain through the sliding glass door.

I loved it so much. 

This morning the crock pot is on, the kitchen is clean, the house is quiet, my hymn music is playing, and the rain and wind just keep coming. As I work on my senior project about home schooling I can't help but smile at all my treasured memories of being home schooled. 

We use to wait by the front door a little earlier on rainy days because we knew daddy would be home a little early. He always came home a little early on rainy days. Dinner in the crock pot would be ready when he got home and we would eat early. As a child I felt so happy and so loved. 

I miss it. 

Sometimes I just wish I could go back to those days. They were so wonderful. I am on page 13 of my senior project and I am almost to the part where I get to talk about my own experience. I am still trying to figure out my own thoughts and what exactly I am going to talk about. My wish is that I will be able to write in just a way to say that I grew up learning and exploring in all aspects of my life. I learned for the sake of learning. There is no need to try and "prove" to anyone that I had an acceptable education, I know that through the stories I write people will come to their own conclusions as to what they think. For me personally, those were some of the greatest days of my life and I know I will always cherish them. My hope is that I can share this gift of learning to my own children and students. And even more so to my three bundles of joy that I will be with in five short months. 

I can't wait!

xoxo,

Whitney Roses 

"I can't wait until my only concern with anything school-related is how i'm going to decorate my grad cap." 

These are the words of my wonderful friend, Aimee Bradshaw, and I feel like she describes my life and many of my friends lives right now so perfectly. Yes, I should be working on my senior project or reading for my psych class, but instead I am going to take ten minutes and just write.

Many people are graduating this quarter and in the spring and life is way too stressful right now. It's hard to look with the end in mind when there is so much to do RIGHT now. For example, I registered this morning for classes for next quarter and at first was having a hard time finding classes. I am currently wait listed for three. And I was first rotation. Trying to figure that out, getting back bad grades, stressing about things that are due, sometimes we just let LIFE take over. But we shouldn't, we know we shouldn't.

I did what I always do when life gets stressful. I went to the Liberal Studies office. 

And I sat on a comfy couch, spread out my lunch, and worked on my senior project for like three hours. At one point Loni just looked over me and just started laughing. And I laughed with her. Because that's what we need. We need to laugh when it gets stressful. So, I look at all my lib studs right now who are working on senior project, I just want to remind you to breath. Take a step back, breath, go on pinterest for a few minutes, run around the block, but know that it will get done. 

Because sometimes we just need to tell ourselves that we truly are "good enough" even when everything around us makes us feel that we aren't. And know that that senior project you are working on, that psych book you are reading, that biology lab you need to finish, and that presentation you have tomorrow, it all has a purpose. I know it's hard to see right now, but it's helping you learn and it's shaping your mind and brain. 

It's going to be okay. And remember to eat your fruits, veggies, and protein. That makes a big difference. 

And as I think about everything that's due in the next week and a half I can't help but laugh when I think about how many times I bumped my head today. (Okay, bad example, but it was kinda funny, I was a little more clumsy than usual today) Anyway, go give your roommate a hug or tell them a joke, unless their real stressed than just let them be! But you know what I mean. 

Okay, I'm not making sense. 

See ya later. Love ya! 

Whit 

Riding camels in Morocco

My senior project paper is due in two weeks as well as a presentation that goes along with that paper. I am sitting in SLO DO CO thinking about my research and watching a dad who just walked in with three little ones in pajamas. Four year old's need late snacks too, I guess. Daddy might need it even more. I am so ready to be done with school and begin my next adventure so naturally, studying has been a challenge. When life is stressful and school is hard I often try and take a step back and think, "What are you looking forward to Whit?" My mom is good at asking me this question. So, tonight, I ask myself that question. What am I looking forward to? 

Riding camels in Morocco. 

So, if Katie and I both end up in Spain, naturally we have to visit each other. Top on the to do list? Riding camels in Morocco. It's funny though, as I sit here and watch this dad squeeze frosting on an already frosted doughnut, I can't help but smile. Because watching dads give their kids more sugar, dreaming about riding camels in Morocco, giggling with Katie, and eating doughnuts. These are what make the stressful times some of the best times. I need to continue to cherish the rest of this year though because before I know it, it's going to be gone. Four years done, just like that. 

As I continue to procrastinate on my senior project paper for just another minute, let me ask you this? What are you looking forward to? Spring break? Summer? Your econ midterm? (Well, I don't know, my roommate's an econ major and she likes it!), But really maybe you have been studying for a test for weeks and you are actually excited because you know you're going pulverize it! And that's great. My point is when we give ourselves something positive to combat the negative, it really can make our days a whole lot better. 

Alright, that's all for now. I'm going to eat a doughnut and work on my paper. And it's really not going to be so bad because I'm writing about something I'm passionate about!

xoxo, 

Whitters 

F e b R u a r y

F e b R u a r y. 

That's how my mama use to get me to spell February. Feb R uary. With emphasis on the R, I always forgot it. She did that with Wednesday too. Wed Nes Day. In sets of three. And now when I write the grocery list, for her, she still corrects certain words and then later says, "Whitney, how do you spell broccoli?" and when I freeze she tells me an easy way to remember how to spell broccoli. Okay, now I know what you're thinking, "you gonna talk about spelling all night, Whit?" Naa, actually I'm going to talk about Valentines day and maybe a little bit about Spain too :) 

Valentines day. 

I need to go pick up some sweet tarts at Target tomorrow, I'm sure they'll be on sale! Last night I was taking care of baby Nicole, she turned 33 days old yesterday! She was kinda fussy last night and I was bouncing her and talking to her and singing. She likes it when I talk to her :) I was reminding her that it was her 33rd day birthday and that she was getting "so" big! After she fell asleep I was thinking about her and how much I have grown to love her and how I wish I could keep babysitting her after I graduate. Then it occurred to me that I will never see her walk or talk and it kinda made me sad. I was thinking, "what's the point of only taking care of her for five months? She'll never know me!" But then another thought came to me (more like whisper from God) and He said, "It's because you have a purpose, Whit." A purpose? Say what, Jesus?

A purpose. 

A purpose, that's right, even though I may only be in little Nicole's life for five months, but those five months have purpose. And I am a critical part in her life right now and she may never know who I am and her parents may never talk about me, probably won't talk about me, but that's not the point. The point is that I am here to love this little girl as much as I can and remind her about how much Jesus loves her and to sing to her and to get really excited when she is 33 days old! God always has a reason for everything. And baby Nicole and Whitney Rose need to be best friends right now. 

Again, I know what you're thinking, "what does this have to do with valentines day, Whit?" I'll tell you why. Because for the past week I have been thinking to myself, "what is the darn point to valentines day?" It just seems so silly to me. (Maybe I would feel different if I actually had a significant other) but you know as I was holding little Nicole last night, God gently reminded me again. It's not about me having a surfer boy, cowboy, or Mr. dark and handsome, it's about Jesus' sacrifice and God's love and baby Nicole. Yes, it's about Wyatt and baby Lauren who I babysat today, it's about all the Mountainbrook kiddos, it's about Bodi and Givan, it's about Grant and Kaedra. It's about Paige and Merry and Leah and Meggy. It's about showing Christ's love to everyone you care about and even more so to people who you may have a hard time getting along with. 

It's not about the chocolate and the flowers. (even though chocolate tastes good and flowers smell nice) 

This year was probably one of the first years on this holiday where I have felt content. Content in being single. Confident in myself. And knowing that I am not defined by any man, but only by the greatest father. It took me a long time through the high school years and college to be at the point of where I am today. But I am at this place where I know that whoever I do meet someday, will happen in its own time. And I am okay with that. It is what it is. And I'd rather be confident in myself and continue to become the woman I am today than worry about all the "what ifs" of my future. 

Let's be real. I am going to SPAIN in August for six months! I don't want to be with someone right now. I am ready for my adventures! I am so proud of the girl I am becoming and that is such a good thing. 

God is funny, who would have thought that this girl would be going to Spain after college. Not me. But I'm ready. And the future jar has 207 dollars in it! Yes, we still have a way to go, but we'll get there, we will get there :) 

Happy Valentines day, friends :) I hope you feel loved every day. And if we haven't had a coffee date in a while. let's do that :) 

xoxo, 

Whitters